Okay, I'm back because I discovered that I was too worked up to sleep, so now I'm going to talk about Harry Potter and other movies where everyone acts like an idiot and doesn't do anything useful. EVER. (i.e. All movies ever made)
P.S. You should realise by now that there will be spoilers to various movies, some of those include: Harry Potter: the one about Sirius, How To Train Your Dragon, Legend of The Guardians (The one about owls - no one seems to have ever heard of this movie)
Although I may forget about them all and end up talking about something else. So...Enjoy.
So Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban, right? Professor Whozits (I can't remember his name, but it has something to do with the sciency word for Werewolf...Lupe? I bet it's Lupe..) is turning into a werewolf and Sirius is all "Woah, I'm a dog and Ima kill ya" and so these friggin' wizards. Wizards, you guys. Just stand there all freaking out about the werewolf and I'm like "Dudes! You just learnt about werewolves in that class you go to sometimes, how bout you throw some magic at it. You know those pointy sticks in your pockets? They're magic and would be very useful right now."
But of course, they can't hear me and their idiots. So Snape comes along and, once again, I'm like "Snape! You used to (or will sometime soon? I can't remember) teach defence against the dark arts, I generally think of werewolves as dark creatures that are scary and should have magic thrown at them." Nope, Snape just sort of stands there.
And so the dog on dog fight thing is still going on and Lupe (Lupus?) appears to have the upper hand on Sirius, so Harry brings out (dun dun dun duuun!) a rock. Not a wand. A rock. Nice one. That'll stop 'im.
So that's the main gist of what I have to say about Harry Potter.
Onto How To Train Your Dragon.
First of all, don't you think the dragons are exactly like cats? Isn't that awesome? So awesome. I love this movie.
But that Hiccup kid pisses me off like nothing else. Dude! They're taking your dragon and their probably gonna kill 'im. How 'bout you start effing shit up and taking names. I know I would (I think I watch too many vampire shows and expect myself to be of superior strength to everyone else). I would totally smash people. Or the very least I wouldn't just stand there and let them take him.
Things I would do before I let anyone take my dragon (I think of it as if it were my horse or dog):
Eff shit up and start takin' names
Beat on people
Scream in people's faces
Thrash people
Tackle people
Catapult myself into people
Hit people over the head with mallets/hammers/frying pans
Bite people
Pretend I'm with the people taking my dragon away and then obliterate them when we leave the docks
I won't go on because this is on the internet after all.
I can be very violent when someone takes my horsey.
Legend of the Guardians. These owl guys know the score. They effed all the shit they could find up. They travelled for like days/weeks to eff more shit up. Owl dudes know where it's at.
Dawdling off into unknown land now, where I just talk about things I think of. Prepare yourself.
I hate Tumblr sometimes (ps. I started Tumbling and it's so addictive, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone). Spoilers everywhere. And no spoiler alert.
My friend, Meg (spoiler alert for Harry Potter at some point in the future (future?)) posted something about crying when fictional characters die and then listed some that made her especially sad and I was like "WHAT? When does Snape die?!" He's probably already died in the movies, I just didn't notice/haven't seen the most recent one, but I was like "WHAT?! How can that be?" Although it's fairly obvious if you read the above ramblings (that would be strange if you didn't and you just skipped to this bit...How is this bit more interesting?) it will be obvious how he could die. He doesn't have very good reflexes.
And with that I will bid you a due.
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