Spidergate

Yet another spider has ventured into my room. This one is quite a lot larger than the rest.

He was hiding behind my laundry basket and scared the bajeesus out of me. This was three days ago...I haven't seen him since, I've been scared of touching anything I can't clearly see ever since.


In other news, my dog keeps on looking at me like this:

And I don't know what he wants.

Ah I keep looking at it

Ugh! It feels like there's something on my face whenever I look at it.

If it's gone the next time I look, I'm gonna freak out

Lordy, that's a big spider

This spider is in my house. I don't think I was able to fully capture how freaking huge it is with my puny camera phone. It's as big as my hand.

Here is a picture of my hand for comparison. I have pretty normal sized lady hands and it is as big as my hand, including fingers. What.

OH GOD! It's cleaning it's feet with its fangs! It's like a terrifying kitty cat.

It keeps moving! Ahh! Stay in one place, Christ!

This spider also visited me a few days ago, he was slightly less frightening.

Look at him, he's kind of adorable.

I think it's safe to say that my rein as Spider Queen is continuing. Why do they flock to me so? Damn you, Australia!

Also, this trash can appears to have become animate and is in search of freedom. I think it's looking at me...

Look at it...Look at it's face.

My internet's being really slow and I think I should go and restart the router dealy, but I'm too scared of getting murdered. Don't read that thing I linked to a few days ago about self defence! I still can't sleep and every noise frightens me.

So good news, I'm a witch

Yep, everything's going swell here. I used my magic powers to open a bottle of juice not one minute ago. Apparently, tapping the top on the side of a table actually works. I have, however, been unsuccessful in curing myself of whatever illness has befallen me.
There's something wrong with me, don't really know what...

ALSO! I am continuing my rein as spider queen. Another mothertrucker wandered into my bathroom yesterday, luckily, I was armed with my trusty cup and managed to concur him.

I saw it just as I was about to take a bath in this lovely Lush bath

Look! The water's navy! (Christmas Eve bubble bar)

I also did some pretty awesome stuff for Halloween, me and some friends went to a Halloween fair, it was sick, I ate two snow cones and three slushies.
One of my friends went as a unicorn, doesn't she look majestic?

Other friend went as a bumble bee, it cost her a total of $6 to create her outfit.

Serious unicorn

She also offered to give people rides

Catch you on the flippety flip!

Three of you mothertruckers come into my house, messin' with my shit. It's outrageous.

Once again, the Spider Queen reins forth. Damn spiders keep coming into my bathroom, sitting on all my stuff, making me uncomfortable with their multiple eyes and legs. How are you able to do this to me?!

An empty Lush tub is now my primary spider catching vehicle, it's just the right distance away that I don't get too freaked out by the proximity of my hand to the creepy little weirdos, but I can still see what I'm doing.

So three of these bastards have taken up residence in my bathroom, I thought it was two, but then this huge ass mothertrucker pops out of nowhere while I'm brushing my teeth and scares the bajeesus out of me. YOU'RE SO DAMN CREEPY! Why won't they leave me alone?! Damn you, Australia! You and your poisonous critters.

I have successfully caught the huge, creepy weirdo and he is now outside in his natural habitat (I can't think of them as female, how could you do this to one of your own?!). It took a lot of shrieking, some very skilful cup work and the only motivation of not wanting to kill a spider, pretty strong motivation though.

So all is well (somewhat) once again in my bathroom, only two much smaller and less furry critters left in my bathroom (that I know of...*shiver*).

I would put a google photo to help aid you in feeling my freaked outed-ness, but I can't get myself to click images when I search "huntsman spider". If you want to know, it's one of those, but a fairly smallish one (still pretty goddamn scary). I have seen some pretty huge huntsmen in my day (oh the joys of being Australian).

So I will bid you adieu, I am off to go and most likely dream about giant spiders eating me. Farewell!

Haaagnh!

That is the noise I make when there is a large spider in my bathroom and my hand needs to go close to it.

Why do spiders keep surrounding me?! I'd let you live in my bathroom if you weren't so creepy and motionless all the time! Geez, guys, how about you just get less furry and leggy? Then maybe we'll talk.


Another spider decided my bathroom was a nice place to live. It was probably the size of my palm and all brown and stripy and somewhat hairy. It was sitting next to my toilet...right when I really had to pee. You bastard spider, you. But, alas, I still would like to keep my rein as Spider Queen, so I didn't kill it. I feel like he didn't appreciate how uncomfortable catching him made me.

I got a takeout container and a magazine and approached him, I had my container poised ready to trap him, nope, container was too small and see-through, freaks me out too much.
The next attempt was an opaque red ice-cream container, that was better (I couldn't find anything bigger), but my hand was still dangerously close to the spider. It took me a good twenty minutes to get the courage to place the container over him, little did I know, that was the easy bit.
I, eventually, got my magazine under the container, I thought it was going pretty well, now just to lift the container and magazine at the same time off the side of the wall, like vertically. I never realised that the majority of spiders I had freed were conveniently on the floor or ceiling.
That probably took me another twenty minutes. Freaking magazines and their bending ways.

Anywho, the spider is outside (along with the container and magazine which I pretty much just threw into my garden - screw it, I'll get it when the sun comes up) and hopefully still has all it's legs and hopefully won't come and visit me again, unless it's to tell me that my spider army is ready and we can take over Australia now (running the whole world is too hard, I'd rather just have Australia - I like our accents).

So wish me luck on my future spider freeing adventures.

Spiders and other bug-like creatures

I'm wondering what would happen if all the bugs in the world died, except for spiders. Would the spiders

A)All starve to death
B)Eat each other until there was only one spider left and then that one would die
C)Evolve to be big enough to eat humans or just eat us gradually whilst we sleep

I do not know.

I was just thinking about how sometimes I wish all the insects would become non-existent because they piss me off, except spiders, because one, that would be pretty interesting and two, I am after all the Spider Queen and they are my minions. Although I haven't seen many spiders in my house lately...hopefully they haven't chosen a new Spider King or Queen

Lazy post!

Well, I don't like to think of it as lazy...I'll most likely end up writing something really long about spiders, as I often do, and then it won't be lazy, it'll just be uninteresting or creepy. Or hopefully hilarious.

I have indeed. An octopus is really the best way to describe it.

Those furbie things as so freaking' creepy, a knife just goes with a furbie, it's not even suprising. It's just...there.

I chortled

So true, I always lose pens that way...although I give up very quickly...

I need a new iphone case. I want this one. It's amazing, sharks are awesome, amazing. I must find out where I can purchase this from.

As promised,
Talking about spiders:

So here's an update on the spider in my bathtub situation, I got back from my holiday, bathroom door still closed, gargantuan spider gone. Happy times. I haven't seen many spiders in my bathroom for a while, I think it's because it keeps raining, but you'd think the spiders would be more inclined to hide out in my bathroom whilst it's all horrible and wet...hmm.
Now I'm trying to remember the last time I saw a spider in my room/anywhere near me that wasn't outside and I think the last one was the huge spider in my tub...strange. Maybe it went back to it's spider friends and told them about how I didn't help it, probably convinced them all that I'm racist to certain types of spiders...really I'm just favouring daddy long legs-es because they're not all that scary and can't, like, kill me.

See, I talked about spiders and it was very strange.

See ya laters, probably while I'm in Ja-freaking-pan. So excited.

There is super glue on my finger, I almost permanently attached my hand to a magnet

I have super glue in my room purely because super glue is like hot glue, but doesn't require electricity. I did not think of how I will inadvertently glue something to myself at some point if there is super glue in my room. I was fine up until now, careless and dangerous, but fine all the same.

I use super glue for all sorts of things I probably shouldn't use it for. Fixing clothes (but now I have my sewing machine, so super glue is only for emergencies), fixing random bits and bobs, attaching things to other things, fixing my furniture. I like to fix a lot of things. My Dad is none the wiser.

This super glue on my finger is feeling weird, I keep rubbing my other finger on my thumb and being all "What? Is my skin peeling off?" nope, just super glue ...I don't know how I'm going to get it off...I would imagine oil might get it off...we'll see.

In other news, the spider in my tub is still there, it didn't move for about two hours and I was pretty sure it was dead. It's moved now. Definitely alive. Welp, no shower for me tonight.
Goodie.

I wrote a note for any unsuspecting (and lurking in my room) patrons so as not to get them eaten by my spider guard.



It says "There is possibly a very large spider in this bathroom. I would not advice entering unless under severe circumstances. (ie. earthquake, flood, FIRE!
Although I don't know how my bathroom would be of any use to you in these situations.)
Yours sincerely,
The Spider Queen"

Maybe I'll suck it up and try and release it without killing it; I need to keep my rein of The Spider Queen

-The Spider Queen

UPDATE: I've discovered that it moves in the darkness and is surprisingly fast. Scarily fast.
It went from crawling up the wall.

To the other side of the bathtub in the span of me taking a photo of the note on the door which was in the same room.

There he is by the glass door thingy

Freaked out and keeping my bathroom door closed. No saviour for scary looking spider. Sorry.

I am not The Spider Queen

Okay, spiders, seriously? You're about to cross a line that you can't return from, and that line is that there are too many freakin' spiders in my room and I'm about to go Peter Pan on your asses (I like this Peter Pan analogy, you can decide for yourself what it mean) and you'll die, and I'll be sad, and I'll feel guilty, and you'll still be dead.

I saved a spider a while ago and now the spiders seem to be congregating around me. They are growing in size and numbers. Last week, there were probably three daddy long legs, then there was a smallish huntsman, then there was this large ass huntsman outside my mum's room (at a different house to the one I am at now) and now there is a quite threateningly scary large huntsman in my bathtub. I don't know how you got through my window...



WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SPIDERS? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Ever since I saved that freaking spider from getting drowned and stopped my spider killing spree (that was a few months ago), the spiders seem to have named me their queen. I'd be alright with that if they would freakin' tell me and not just randomly turn up and expect something from me that I have no idea how to give them. Do you want food? I'll give you food if you don't bite me (and I somehow manage to catch flies with my bare hands). Or maybe you can be my protectors? Save me from mosquitos and keep watch over my stuff while I'm at Moreton. I'd quite like that.

I'm not sure if threateningly scary large huntsman is even alive. He hasn't moved in twenty minutes...Maybe he's stuck in the tub? I sure as truck ain't gonna be saving his freaky ass. No siree.

...Actually I might. I'd rather like to be the spider queen... But I'll get a box and release him into the wild.

I better do that before Laura gets home...she truckin' hates spiders.

Wish me luck
-The Spider Queen

Doing something that makes you uncomfortable

Sometimes good, sometimes it's your body's way of telling you to get the truck out o' there or your ass will be grass. Often times it's some sort of unfounded fear, or maybe something that makes sense, but not to the extent that you are afraid of it. Spiders for instance, I am afraid of spiders. I used to have a phobia of spiders, but then I tried to think of it from the spider's perspective and now it's a rather small fear. I'm also afraid of heights and fear itself. It's easier than you think to get less afraid of something. Small steps is the key, most people seem to think you should just go at it all in one go. Horrible idea, if you fail it will make it even harder to achieve it next time.

So, back to spiders, I've been afraid of spiders pretty much my whole life and gradually that fear manifested itself into a phobia, as in 'OMG a spider, must go running out of room screaming now' kind of phobia. Today I picked up a spider four times. I'm quite excited and proud of myself. However, it was just a daddy long legs, dunno if you guys have them in other countries, but they're completely harmless and look pretty ridiculous.


I called him G Daddy because it just seemed to fit him.

So picking up Mr. G Daddy was all part of the plan.

How I did this is I thought about it from the spiders perspective. If I were a spider, why would I bite someone? Because they were in my territory? They were messin' with ma young. Just firkin' felt like it. Also, I realized that even if I was helping it, it wouldn't realize and would assume I was stealing his territory (my bathroom) for myself. Now, I didn't want to point out to G Daddy that I owned that bathroom and all my smelly soap things were proof of that, I was like "Aye, we can share, right?" And I had to decide what was more important, taking a shower and killing my new friend or getting over my stupid fear and picking him up and putting him somewhere safe.

There were of course steps before this, but that was mainly thinking in the spider's perspective and being alright with them living in my bathroom.

However, after the initial picking up of said spidey, G Daddy decided he didn't want to be on the safe end of the shower, he's rather use some sort of magic spider tricks and somehow get past the spray of water and to the other side of the shower that was very wet. I'm suspecting that G Daddy is two different spiders, but I've only seen one daddy long legs in my bathroom...creepy. Anywho, so I had to shut off the shower, pick G Daddy up and put him back on the safe side of the shower. G Daddy was not happy with my choice of place for him to sit, so he started to try to climb up the wet tiles on the wall, which he was very unsuccessful at, but he sure didn't give up quick. So I picked him up, again, and placed him on the shelves so he could get to the top corner and make a web of some shape (<-- what I deduced he was trying to do from my previous steps ^^) and then his leg got stuck on the glass shelves, but I decided I had done enough and I wasn't tall enough to get him any higher, I was also getting too freaked out to touch him again. Point of the story, don't give up unless your getting too freaked out that the next time you try to do it you'll have some sort of crazy panic attack, and then just realize that there is nothing more you can do that will be of any help to G Daddy.