Lordy, that's a big spider

This spider is in my house. I don't think I was able to fully capture how freaking huge it is with my puny camera phone. It's as big as my hand.

Here is a picture of my hand for comparison. I have pretty normal sized lady hands and it is as big as my hand, including fingers. What.

OH GOD! It's cleaning it's feet with its fangs! It's like a terrifying kitty cat.

It keeps moving! Ahh! Stay in one place, Christ!

This spider also visited me a few days ago, he was slightly less frightening.

Look at him, he's kind of adorable.

I think it's safe to say that my rein as Spider Queen is continuing. Why do they flock to me so? Damn you, Australia!

Also, this trash can appears to have become animate and is in search of freedom. I think it's looking at me...

Look at it...Look at it's face.

My internet's being really slow and I think I should go and restart the router dealy, but I'm too scared of getting murdered. Don't read that thing I linked to a few days ago about self defence! I still can't sleep and every noise frightens me.